Heaven Can't Help Us Now
by Nicoleaf
Summary: In which the gang are third year Hogwarts students, Maya is a Slytherin crushing hard of her Hufflepuff best friend. Lucas needs to grow a pair and ask Farkle out already, Shorpanga are the best parents ever, and Feeny is the very grumpy (but loving), headmaster.


A streak of blonde hair flew down the Hogwarts corridor. Maya Hart was late, _again_.

It wasn't that Maya ever really tried to be late, it just sort of, happened. For the most part, she was good about being on time, or as well as someone who really could care less about most of her classes could be. But when it came to History of Magic, the Slytherin would rather die than be late.

Nearly everyone who attended Hogwarts agreed that History of Magic was, to put it kindly, a snoozefest. Professor Matthews could rant and rave about any subject he wanted, but no one was really that interested. The only reason most students even bothered showing up was to be able to collect their money if and when Farkle Minkus would finally snap and demand that Matthews _finally_ teach what happened in Wizarding Belgium 1831. Seriously, if the class kept up the way it had been going, Zay Babineaux would be rolling in cash by the end of the year.

But Maya had an entirely different reason to come to class than to mock her fellow house mate, she came for Riley Matthews.

The Hufflepuff had been the object of Maya's affection since their first year when she watched the pureblood walk confidently up to the sorting hat. She herself was a muggleborn, and had been nervous, her stomach twisting up in knots of anxiety. But no, Riley had strutted up to the tattered old hat and confidently let it sort her while her dad watched excitedly from the table of professors. Headmaster Feeny even spared a warm hearted glance in her direction.

But that had been two years ago, and Maya, now a third year, still couldn't shake the nervous fluttering she felt in her stomach when she looked at the shy Hufflepuff. Fate however, had been smiling in the Slytherin's favor when assigning the seating arrangement in History of Magic, Riley sat directly next to her, even if they didn't share the same bench. Maya got stuck with a Gryffindor named Lucas she affectionately renamed Bucky McBoingBoing. The lucky boy who sat next to Riley, whom Maya was _totally not jealous_ _of_ , was of course, one Farkle Minkus. If it weren't for the fact she was nearly one hundred percent positive Farkle had the hots McBoingBoing, she probably would have arranged an "unfortunate accident" by now.

Maya had forged an easy friendship with the brunette, they both loved their friends fiercely and would do anything for those close to them. They shared an unhealthy obsession with the Series of Unfortunate Events, a deep undying love for the show Supernatural (even though they both agreed it should have ended after season five, it was problematic as heck, and that the queerbaiting was way overdone.), and a mutual desire for adventure. By Christmas of their first year they had already become inseparable, but Maya couldn't help but want something more.

It took Maya a long time to realize that aside from Riley, she had somehow found herself a group of friends, something never even imagined having before she came to Hogwarts. Lucas was strong and kind, and despite his outward exterior of "Mr. Perfect," he was a flawed human being who actively acknowledged his imperfections, something Maya could admire. Farkle was a genius who would probably take over the world one day with his vast amount of brain power. Zay was the _king_ of sass, and Riley was a compassionate princess who just wanted everyone to be happy, who wanted _Maya_ to be happy, in fact everyone in their group wanted Maya to be happy, and that was a weird feeling.

But it didn't really occur to Maya exactly how _much_ her friends wanted her to be happy until she found herself at the center of a plot affectionately deemed, ' _Operation Maya's Happiness.'_

Her friends had been sneaking around for a month. It was the middle of January and winter had come to the point where it didn't really have a purpose other than to make unbundled noses Rudolph red and keeping children inside, away from the world of swirling, falling snow. Lucas and Zay had been uncharacteristically quiet, each of them dodging conversation with her when certain, seemingly random subjects where brought up. Riley refused to make eye contact and Farkle was straight up avoiding her. It wasn't until she had cornered the little punk outside of Headmaster Feeny's 5th hour Muggle Studies class that she finally got the half-blood to speak more than a few short words to her.

"H-hey Maya," he stuttered out nervously. "Fancy seeing you here, I mean really do you come here often? Because whoo-hee you are looking particularly fine today I mean really Da-yum gir-" His nervous chitter was cut off by the very angry blonde.

"Cut the crap Farkle," she glared, the full force hitting her fellow Slytherin like a lazerbeam. "First, I know you're gay you said so yourself like a month ago. And even if you hadn't, you stare at Ranger Rick waaaaaaay too much to actually be into me." She smirked. "No, what I want to know is why you have been avoiding me like I suddenly contracted the plague." She raised her eyebrow elegantly, waiting for a reply.

"Ok, Ok, I give up!" Smoothing out his turtleneck he bit out a retort. "Watch the shirt blondie!"

"Blondie?" Maya's smirk turned wolf like, the grin inching up her face as her eyes flashed. "You better start talking real fast mister or your boyfriend's gonna have to walk in to find you in a coma."

Farkle tried to muster a weak "Not my boyfriend." But it came out in a strained whisper. Maya was one of his best friends but the girl could get seriously scary when she wanted to.

"Fine," he sighed, resigning himself to his fate. "Riley and Lucas and Zay and I are setting you up on a date." He flinched instinctively, waiting for some sort of physical response, but when a moment passed and nothing happened, he dared to crack his eyes open. Maya was staring at him in shock, mouth flapping like a freshly caught fish.

"A date?" She asked, "A date with who?"

"Whom." He corrected automatically, the sorting hat didn't try to sway him into Ravenclaw without a good reason.

"Whatever," the blonde snapped, "Who did you set me up with?"

"I honestly don't know, Riley and Lucas are supposed to be sorting that out after lunch!" He replied, eager to escape his friend and find the others to warn them.

Maya huffed. "Stay here." She ordered before stomping off in pursuit of two very much in trouble friends of theirs.


End file.
